Look at you looking at me. You may have painted all over me so I stand out like the shining sun but at least I don’t have to squint and twist my face in all directions and squat and clench my fist and moan continuously in order to look back at you. Try taking it easy sometime and see how that goes. You tied me up high over the blanket of oxalis that was consuming the lawn but the lawn doesn’t even exist anymore because you got a thousand bucks from the city to stop watering it. I see that fire retardant tape that you wasted your money on while photographing wildfires finally got put to use and the neighbor David came over to pawn some cameras on you but you knew they would just add to your storage problems so you said no and the city comes by every spring to prune that big old sycamore so the branches don’t get stuck in the electrical wire and I swear one day that tree is going to fall right on your roof and you were so determined to make a picture with that giant mushroom you spotted peaking from the shadows like a surveillance camera and then there was that day in the front yard you kept stalling and laughing and talking with your neighbor and he knew I was trying to watch because he was standing ever so slightly out of my view, it was so annoying, and you were talking with him about how dire the world is and who’s gonna win the election and here we are back in the same place again and thank god you finally ditched that thrift store sweater that was covered in holes and you would always bundle up to stay warm in the wee hours of the morning when youd start working on me and then strip off your layers one by one as the day warmed up and you took this damn project so seriously just like you do everything. But then you all of a sudden laugh like its all a big joke and I remember those fleece hats your swim coach gave out one day and Andres kept telling you how silly they looked on your but you said who cares we are just sitting here in Vallejo and nobody is watching but hey what about me here watching every motion, every sneeze, every time you grimace at me as though Im a failure. Well, try looking at yourself! Your neighbor always reminds you that yes a middle aged white lady can get away with whatever but it’s likely for a cop to stop a dreadlocked black man if he’s not dressed to the nines while walking the streets in this town. Oh yuck why don’t you get a napkin instead of wiping your snot on your sleeve after picking up pieces of spray painted dog poo and oh yes indeed you now have the wrinkly forehead your college boyfriend warned you about three decades ago but guess what I think you like showing me all your gestures and wrinkles and owning your sorrows right in my face. It happens every time until the wind finally blows me right over and I don’t have to look at you anymore until the next time you decide to play this silly game where we both have to stare at each other. You act all sophisticated calling me a cyborg or even a sculpture but im nothing but a plastic camera, some plants, and a bunch of junk that will eventually pile up in a heap somewhere in china where you and your neighbors will never have to look at it but climate change is real my friend so get ready.
